Champ Free Download (v1.07): Trombone

Leo lunged for the power cord, but the shadowy trombone player on the screen reached out a hand, pointing toward the "G" key.

Leo double-clicked the icon. Instead of the cheerful, slightly off-key brass fanfare he expected, the speakers emitted a sound like a wet tuba falling down a flight of stairs. The screen didn't show the main menu; it showed a hyper-realistic, 3D-rendered trombone that seemed to be sweating.

Leo grabbed the mouse. His fingers moved with the desperation of a man possessed. He dodged the "Nasty" notes, he channeled the power of a thousand middle-school band students, and he hit the final "Perfect" toot just as the sun began to peek through his blinds. Trombone Champ Free Download (v1.07)

Leo uninstalled the file, deleted his browser history, and walked straight to the local music store as soon as they opened. He bought the game officially on Steam, tipped the clerk for no reason, and never, ever clicked on a "Free Download" link again. Because every time he hears a brass band in the distance, his left arm still starts to twitch.

With a reckless click, the download began. The progress bar crawled like a tired snail. Leo spent the wait practicing his embouchure on a pencil, imagining the glory of nailing the high notes on The Stars and Stripes Forever . He could almost taste the virtual baboons. "Download Complete." Leo lunged for the power cord, but the

The sound was closer now, right behind his chair. He turned around, but there was nothing there but his laundry pile. When he looked back at the monitor, the trombone avatar was staring directly at him, its digital eyes wide and unblinking. The text on the screen had changed:

"Probably just a weird indie dev joke," Leo muttered, his heart thumping. He hit the 'Play' button. The screen didn't show the main menu; it

Leo froze. He looked at the screen. His score was currently "Pathotic." Honk-honk.