: Adjust the "Outrage" and "Absurdity" levels. Maxing out "Outrage" might trigger a trademark Denny Crane "lock and load" rant, while high "Absurdity" would favor Alan Shore’s poetic, often bizarre, philosophical tangents.

: Shirley Schmidt enlists Alan Shore's help to prevent the auction of nude photographs taken of her years ago by a famous photographer.

: Choose from episode-themed scenarios, such as "Defending a Booby-Trapped Toaster" or "Repudiating a Contract for Vintage Nudes".

: After drafting your argument, the feature generates a "balcony scene" script where you and a chosen partner (like Denny or Alan) toast with scotch and cigars, reflecting on the day's moral victories.